So..it's state testing time again.  I've been putting in a lot of over time over the past week and a half.  We got Spring Break over the weekend which was great except ... I end up getting sick.  So, I come to work yesterday sick.  I couldn't stay home because I had to make sure all the tests were ready for testing to begin today.  Anyway... so I not only worked yesterday but stayed until 8 p.m. to ensure everything was ready first thing this morning for teachers.  I told my boss that if I wasn't feeling better in the morning then I wouldn't be coming to work.  This morning, I wasn't feeling better so I called in sick.   There's the administrator of the school and then there's the assistant administrator.  I called the assistant because the administrator was gone out of town.  Anyway.. ironically, instead of getting sleep and rest this morning, I spent the time on the phone answering questions from my co-workers about testing.  :(  Finally, after 2 hours of that, the administrator calls me from out of town, is upset that I called in sick, told me I created complete chaos at work because I missed the most important day of my work year, listed all the problems I created, and told me I needed to come into work.  I told her that I had been very well prepared, that teachers only had to follow the protocol they've followed every OTHER year, and that I HAD been on the phone all morning "working" anyway.

So.. I came into work late morning...but I was quite upset and emotional.  I wanted to cry, even though I didn't...and I also felt like crawling back into bed and leading my own little revolt against the "establishment".

Why so upset?  Because of the message sent to me...  That I can only be sick if it's convenient for my employer.  What the hell's the point of taking a sick day when you feel you really need it?  It's taken for granted that I'm a damn dedicated employee.  I always have been.  They count on that from me.  I'm here rain or shine.  And I ALWAYS have left over vacation at the end of the  year (which is nobody's fault but mine and why haven't I learned the lesson after 8 years?) But, the damnable thing about it is that I feel that dedication counts for nothing.  And I'm sitting  here saying to myself..it's my own fault because I've been too easy to deal with.  That's the bottom line.  I've "trained" my employer to take advantage of me.

Looks like I have another thing to undo in my life.