I'm listening to Clint Eastwood's composition of the movie score of Gran Torino. He wrote the music and he sings it with Jamie Cullum.

Clint Eastwood (in my opinion) is a classy guy. I haven't heard any music he's composed that I haven't loved. I've been a fan of his movies for years. When I was young and watched westerns he starred in, was when I was first introduced to the talent that is known as Clint Eastwood. He's an "old guy" now..and I enjoy watching him as much today as ever. But what a pleasant surprise when I discovered he wrote the musical score to "Bridges of Madison County"! ...Doe Eyes. It's one of my all time favorite musical scores. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic (I suspect I am). But I can't help have a healthy respect for the talent of Clint Eastwood who acts, directs, and composes music.

(...wish I knew how to put a music clip of Gran Torino on my blog.)

Why do I love Jewel's (that's Jewel Kilcher) music so much? ....It's the lyrics ..... which are PURE POETRY. Then, to add to this talent, ....she puts music to her poetry and it equates to powerful messages. For example:

Amen

~Jewel

You're mothers' child

But night lays you down

Hair aflame, wild look in your eyes

Naked belly to the ground

A forest fire nibbles at your veins

Crawls up your arm

Runs away with your mind

And burns dry thoughts like leaves

Amen

Eyes stare up

But something's in the way

In the Bible only angels have wings

And the rest must wait to be saved

A dry tongue

Screams at the sky

But the wind just breathes words in

As a strange bird tries to fly

Amen

Pieces of us die every day

As though our flesh were hell

Such injustice

As children we are told

That from God we fell.

Where are my angels?

Where's my golden one?

Where's my hope?

Now that my heroes have gone

Some are being beaten

Some are being born

And some can't tell the difference anymore

Amen

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Wow!

Today I feel like such a..... "nerd". I've been going through such a slump the past year or so. I don't know where the drive and passion for living has gone. It's like I'm sort of ...broken. Things that I used to derive so much enjoyment out of, I can't seem to be motivated to even care about anymore... for example... small things like cleaning my bedroom, folding my laundry and getting it put away, and big things like..working out, cooking,...and gardening...socializing with friends (I think about "going out" for an evening, and most of the time, I can't face it.) ...even reading (my all time favorite enjoyment since I was a kid..) seems to be too much of an effort most of the time. I used to get so much satisfaction out of having my life full, productive, and moving... I wake in the morning and want to put my head under my pillow and go back to sleep.

*sigh* I think I'm in a bit of a depression. I try to get off dead center..and I do well for a couple weeks...and then, plunk.. I'm back in that rut. Not being motivated to exercise just adds to the feeling of self disapproval and self incrimination. I hate it..but if I hate feeling this way.. why don't I do more about it?? grrrr.

I had such a great time last night.

Mohave Community College has created a foundation that hosts events for the purpose of raising funds for scholarships, arts facilities, sports facilities, etc, and raising public awareness of educational opportunity and promoting cultural diversity through the arts within the community. The hope is that people will gain a greater appreciation for the arts and lose their fear of...(open their minds so to speak)... things that don't fit within their scope of "acceptable" material for enjoyment. (I have a much broader taste in music, for example, than most people in the community and I get teased about my musical taste regularly. I'm such a fan of jazz. Very few people in the southern utah enjoy this genre of music.)

So, last night, the foundation hosted an event. It was a "black tie" affair featuring for entertainment, a 7 man choral group that sang black spirituals. The evening began with light

hors d'oeuvre's being served with a limited selection of wine. The choral group then sang for awhile. They then had an intermission where dessert and coffee were served, and then...surprise!..... a concert pianist played some Beethoven. It was wonderful. The choral group then finished their performance.

I enjoyed the music (and the food and wine) immensely. I was sitting there listening to the music and wanted to pinch myself to make sure it was real. I've loved black spirituals for as long as I can remember. I couldn't believe that little Centennial Park actually was having such an event. (I say that because Centennial Park is such a extremely conservative community.) It made the evening all the more enjoyable.

The professor who led the choral group is very excited about the abundance of musical talent in the community. He's so excited about it, he's coming back in the fall to continue teaching the choral group and is opening up another section for women. I'm excited enough about it that I'm planning on joining. I haven't had this kind of opportunity in a very long time and it's time I, again, branch out into things that I love and have a passion for.

...If I didn't have other priorities in my life, I would spend my time in the pursuit of enriching cultural experiences. I could "get lost" in this pursuit. However, kids tend to keep you grounded.

I'm more than a bit pissed at the moment. I invested in a speaker/ipod dock and the power cord quit working. I thought ..."no problem, I'll go online and get another one..couldn't be difficult to find..and of COURSE it'd be inexpensive."  Well, I've searched for two days and finally found the item, but every link I go to, the item is sold out.  I'm so pissed!!  It feels like a racket by the company ..to make the accessories to their products unavailable so you have to buy a new product.  I makes me so angry because it's unethical as well as damn poor customer service/customer awareness. Sometimes I wonder why companies are so stupid.  Ultimately, this kind of poor service will result in customers going elsewhere.  And now I'm stuck with a product that doesn't work unless I use batteries.  Grrrr..."breathe Ellie".