...I sometimes wonder if I really have the strength inside to accomplish what I've committed to do.  I have moments where I'm amazed at how much pain I can really absorb.  When I get to that point inside where I feel like I can't take it anymore, I somehow find the resolve I need to get up in the morning, center and focus myself, and continue.  I'm learning this life isn't about being "fulfilled".  Life is about living true to my conscious, about loving others, and making the sacrifices God asks of me.  If I don't accomplish this, when I'm an old woman, all I'll have for my life's legacy is bitterness and disappointment.  So, I realize that pain and suffering is necessary in the accomplishment of my goals.  What is happiness anyway?  Is it this body feeling good?  Pleasure is not happiness.  I think it's a common mistake of the thinking of today's world..that happiness is measured by how good the body feels.

At the moment I feel so isolated.  I'm afraid, feeling wounded, and I don't have a clear view of what's ahead of me.  I have to survive.  I have to live.  I have to find the peace and assurance I'm looking for.  The only place I know to look is toward God.  So, I'm grateful of my knowledge of him and that I have an opportunity to come to greater understanding of life through his perspective.