Well..I'm going on 21 years of marriage and I feel less informed about relationships today than I did at 20 years of age. When I was younger, I took so much for granted because relationships seemed to come so easy. My perspective was that if I gave enough, put as priority (often above myself) the people I loved, and always kept open then things would be good and I would get my needs met. Not so, I've since learned. People are who they are. I can't change anyone but myself. Nor can I determine how another individual will react to me. I can be feeling all the love in the world...be feeling romantic, warm, and open...and it can be totally unreciprocated. I don't believe it's this way intentionally. It's just how people are hard wired. But it's hurtful all the same, even when I tell myself I shouldn't be hurt or that it's redundant to have expectations different than what I know it will be like. The heart doesn't seem to work in accord with reason.
I came across a quote recently in a book I read..and the gist of the quote is this: "Loving someone is a choice you make everyday." That seems to contradict and challenge the general populace's definition of Love. And for me, it certainly did. But the more I think about it, the more I come to agree with it. I can choose to love regardless of what I receive back (or don't receive back). But this is a more difficult path. It's easy to love when you're receiving love but when you're receiving "nothing"...or not receiving what fulfills you or what you need, it's much more difficult. I believe that God loves us with this kind of love and that Christ does also. Loving us regardless of what they receive back from us. My hope for myself is that I can emulate this love throughout my relationships.
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